Celestial Enigmas With Sanity
by Bomb Ring
Summary: Celestial Enigmas is a story running for the worst fanfic in the history of all time. I, Bomb Ring, have read this and thought no man or woman can stay sain after reading this. That is why I added my own thoughts to help with what little sanity I have left, enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

_This is a story called Celestial Enigmas by TormentedByNostalgia...or it used to be. As of today she is TormentedKitsuneNrko, I'll inform you if she changes her name again. I, Bomb Ring, shall give commentary through this story to help make this story possible to read. And if you are reading this TKN, I just want you to know that this story is VERY faulty. This story is basically the second worst fanfic I have ever read, first place goes to 'My Immortal' by XXXbloodyrists666XXX, maybe after I gain enough courage to read past chapter 5 I may change my mind._

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**A/n: Once again I truly, deeply, apologize for the constant restarts of my fanfic. But when you share a brain with your BFF, things just aren't normal.** _(This is warning #1.)_** Both of us are constantly sharing ideas and stuff but this time we got a really good one!** _(Second warning.)_** So no more will there be any restarts! And so with Mew's blessings we will start anew with this fanfic! A special thank you to all our fans who have stuck with us till this long! If you want to see Krystal's Bio please go look at my profile and do not hesitate to ask me questions if you are confused about something.** _(I have one! What type of drugs did you use while writing this?)_** This is it, so be prepared for yaoi'in fangirlin' and and fannin' in general! Mermen, Demons, EVERYTHING! **_(Just a reminder, this is Pokemon.)_

**This fanfic is a Cross - Over between Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z ( all the seasons) if you don't know anything about Dragon Ball then you're gonna be really fucking confused for the rest of this fic.** _(Trust me, you don't need to know a thing.)_

**-TormentedByNostalgia**

_(Nostalgia pretty much means she wants to live in the past and hates her current life.)_

**PS: Do not mix my OC up with the Crystal from the manga and games.** _(You have to try to do that. P.S. LAST WARNING!)_

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It was 5:00 A.M. I've been waiting outside Professor Oak's lab for a pretty long time now. _(What time did you get there, 3:00?)_ My name is Krystal Antares. I couldn't wait to get my first Pokémon it's been ages since I first stepped into the lab for my aptitude test. _(Since when did you have to take a test to get a Pokemon?) _I was the only one that passed! The only thing between me and my Pokémon was this stupid door. I was born here in Pallet Town. I am now 15 years old. The age used to be 10 but most 10 year olds are stupid and immature. I also invented the Pokemon Storage System _(Wait a minute, what happened to Bill?)_ So here I am, out in the freezing temperatures just to get my first Pokémon! I couldn't wait to get my hands on that adorably freaking cute Charmander. It's the only starter that's good, in the Kanto region. _(Wow, that's just raciest.)_

I looked at my phone again for the time it was 5:30 I could see Professor Oak coming down from the Tauros Ranch.

"Krystal! Haha! You're up early!" smiled Oak. _(WOAH! He can teloport! He was at the ranch then at his front door, amazing!)_

"Good morning, Professor!" I greeted politely. "Well you know what they say, the Early Pidgey gets the Caterpie!" (_I use that saying all the time!)_

"Agreed! Phew, it's freezing out here! Come on inside the lab Krystal, I'll brew up some cocoa for everyone," said Professor Oak. He was carrying a case with him. He put his coat away and sat in this chair to relax for awhile. I hope I become a professor just like him one day... _(This is the start of a never ending cycle...)_

"Come on in, Krystal and make yourself home!" he said cheerily and poured me some Cocoa.

"Thanks!" I took some marshmallows and put them in my Cocoa.

"By the way have you seen the other two?" he asked referring to Ash and Gary.

"Nope, I haven't seen them since yesterday," I said.

"Ugh.. those two are going to kill me one day," he sighed. (_Sure Gary is a bit annoying, but I don't think he would kill his own grandfather. And Ash wouldn't think of such a thing.) _I feel sorry for Professor Oak since Gary is his grandson. I finished drinking my Cocoa and put it in the sink.

"Well Krystal, I'm actually glad you came early. You see, unlike most of the trainers I've taken under my wing... You're extraordinary!" he said. _(And here is the first lie!)_

"Thanks Professor! You really think that?" I asked modestly.

"Think? My dear, I know you're extraordinary! No one has scored 100% on the aptitude test!" he said. Admittedly when I was 13 I did have a small crush on Oak. _(O.o Did she just say two years ago she had a crush on a 50 year old man? There are many flaws with this girl.)_

"So many trainers have come and gone out of this lab but never did I think someone with so much potential would come here... like you. Well that's enough chatter, I know you're eager to meet your first Pokemon!" said Oak in a sing-songy voice. _(Oak sang? Who is this, and what have you done with the Professor?)_ I just laughed. He led me to the room with the 3 Pokeballs.. I've been waiting so long for this!

"Go ahead Krystal, choose!" he smiled and let them all out. There I saw the Pokemon's happy faces full of cheeriness! They were all a different color, I knew that they were shinies. _(Of course! Because shiny Pokemon are just soooo common.)_

"So cut-" Just as I was about speak, the Charmander immediately hopped into my arms! _(Good job Charmander! You just sold your soul to the devil.)_

"Well.. looks like the Pokemon has chosen the Trainer instead!" laughed Professor Oak.

"Well, it looks like my decision is made for me!" I laughed and chose Charmander.

"Char!" it laughed happy and climbed on my shoulder. Professor Oak gave me a Pokedex. I looked up Charmander's data.

**_"Charmander, the Lizard Pokemon. The flame at the tip of its tail makes a sound as it burns. You can only hear it in quiet places." _**_(Pokemon Yellow Entry, this is one of few things true.)_

I couldn't help but notice that the other Pokémon looked a bit down. _(I guess selling your soul is a Pokemon's goal in life.)_ Professor Oak motioned me to come over to the inner part of the lab.

"Krystal... as I was saying.. I have never done this before, I would like it if you took all the starters," he smiled. _(Why couldn't you have said this in the other part of the lab?)_ My eyes and mouth simultaneously grew wide open.

"P-Professor!" I gasped in surprise. _(Really? I gasped in fear.)_

"You're the only one I can trust with these Pokemon, trainers like Ash and Gary... I fear the future of Pokemon with trainers like them around," he sighed. _(What in the world is going on! They do great things in the future! Ash saves the world here and there and Gary becomes a great Professor!)_

"A-Are you just testing me?" I gasped, a bit getting paranoid. _(Please let it be a lie, please let it be a lie, please let it be a lie...)_

"No Krystal, I'm being 100% serious," _(Ahhh, Tarous crap!)_ said Oak in a very stern but friendly tone. " No trainer has the amount of potential you do," he smiled. "Go on, choose them," he smiled. I paused. Oak came over and picked Squirtle up.

"Go on, my dear, there's nothing to fear," he smiled.

I happily picked up Squirtle. But not Bulbasaur since it's the weakest starter. _(Oak asked you to take all of them you insensitive woman! Many trainers would love that oppurtunity. I hope you die by a Solarbeam/Frenzy Plant/Leaf Storm/Petal Dance combo in the face from a Venasaur! I don't care that isn't even possible!)_ Another girl came in at that moment and chose Bulbasaur. I looked up Squirtle on the Pokedex. _(Why? I thought you got a perfect score on your test. I thought you knew everything about Pokemon Ms. Mary-Sue.)_

_**Squirtle, The Tiny Turtle Pokemon. After birth, its back swells and hardens into a shell. Powerfully sprays foam from its mouth.**_

"Thank you so much Professor!" I expressed my gratitude when the girl left that is. _(Yes, because it would be so embarressing to say it in front of someone else.)_

"Krystal, with you as a trainer.. the future of Pokemon is bright. _(He is actually right, the world will be a giant fireball.)_ No go, go out and explore this vast world of Pokemon many adventures await you," he said. Professor Oak gave me Pokemon Food as well. I had never ventured out of Pallet Town before except to Viridian City where the Trainer's School was. _(I don't remember it being manditory to go to Pokemon ACADAMY, not school, to be a trainer.)_

"Goodbye Professor!" I said and headed out the lab. I was elated! My mom is never home because she's working. _(Oh no, here comes the crappy backstory, brace yourself.)_ If she is home it's usually at 7:00 A.M. My parents are divorced. Even though nothing happens in Pallet Town. I've seen alot of things legendary Pokemon such as Lugia and Mew. (_Hey everybody, I just saw a flock of twenty Moltres fly by today. Also five Mewtwo, three Deoxys, and seven Darkrai have an epic battle to the death. Anybody seen anything rare like a Rattata, I need something to catch other than all these Dialga and Palkia.)_ My parents would fight often so I had to go out of the house. Once I had to stay at Professor Oak's house for 3 whole years because my parents fought so much. _(This Prof. Oak seems a little creepy.)_

Once during soccer practice, my dad didn't think I tried hard enough so he tired to break my arm by stepping on it repeatedly. _(One, does Kanto have any laws, or do they just come and go? Two, where is this great man you speak of?)_ Prof. Oak was the only father figure I had in my life. _(And at one time your crush as well, you have a strange relationship.) _My mom had disappeared for awhile and then when she came back she divorced dad. Prof. Oak was kind enough to step in and take me under his wing. So I grew up with Gary too except Professor Oak didn't like him as much. He was a complete nuisance. _(He is your own flesh and blood Oak, you should like him more than some random girl from down the street.)_

"Hey move it, dweeb!" I turned around to see Gary and Ash.

"Wow, you guys are soo freaking late!" I snapped. _(It was 5:30 not too long ago, what is it now? 6:00 at most?)_

"Whatever!" snapped Gary and he ran in the lab.

"Gramps! I'm fed up with waiting! Where are my damn Pokemon!" he bitched. _(Someone doesn't like Gary.)_

"I'm here Professor!" yelled Ash. _(Hi Ash.)_

"Well! You two are late as usual, _(Again, what time is it?)_ I'm sorry but all the starters have been given out!" he snapped. I knew what I had to do.

"Professor, if I may help them catch their own Pokemon? You look tired," I said, really concerned for the Professor's well being. _(Oh, you little suck-up.)_

"Krystal... you would do that for me?" he sounded very relieved. _(Yes, because giving Gary the Squirtle and Ash a Pikachu is too much effort.)_

"Yes, of course," I smiled angelically. _(There is nothing angelic about her!)_

"Hey! She has more than one starter! That's not fair!" bitched Gary noticing my Squirtle in hand. _(He does have a good point.)_

"Gary, a Pokemon should be with a trainer who it feels happy being around," _(That's why every Pokemon that is caught loves its trainer instantly.)_ said Oak. "And Squirtle wants to be with Krystal," Before Gary and Ash commenced arguing I led them outside to catch their Pokemon.

"Move it Ashie boy!" snapped Gary and shoved past him.

"Will you guys stop acting like immature morons?" _(What has Ash done immature so far? All he has done was say hi.)_ I snapped. "I'm surprised you even managed to pass the aptitude test with a 60%!" _(I thought she was the only one to pass.)_

"Whatever Krystal, you're such a freaking suck-up!" _(These are wise words.)_ said Gary. "That's not going to work in Pokemon Battles!" _(He's right, that's when Author magic kicks in.)_

"Okay then, maybe you can catch your Pokémon on your own then!" I said with a grin and walked off with Charmander in my hands. Squirtle was on my head.

"No! Wait! You can show me!" said Ash. At least he was willing to cooperate. _(Seriously! What has Ash done wrong in this story yet?)_

"Okay!" I said. "Now pay attention," we went beyond Pallet Town and into the road _(How do you get inside a road? Please teach me!)_ we looked around for Pokemon. Ash was eager to catch anything.

"I'll take that one!" he said pointing at a Pikachu he took out his Pokedex and looked up Pikachu's data. _(Pikachu cannot be found in Route 1, the closest place is Viridian Forset. The only logical explaination is someone recently released it.)_

**_"Pikachu, the Mouse Pokemon. This Pokémon has electricity-storing pouches on its cheeks. These appear to become electrically charged during the night while Pikachu sleeps. It occasionally discharges electricity when it is dozy after waking up."_**

I threw a Lab Ball at it. I had invented these for Professor Oak so that we won't harm wild Pokemon. A Pokemon caught with a Lab ball is immediately sent to the Laboratory from which it belongs to. A Pokemon caught in a Lab Ball has no trainer. _(What the crap is going on here? Did she just say she made a slighty modified Master Ball?)_

Ash thanked me and ran off to the Lab to get his Pokemon. Gary lucked out and caught a wild Squirtle with his. _(Then why were you there if he caught it himself?)_ Afterwards I went home to eat Breakfast and Lunch. _(It's called Brunch sweetie.)_ I had a long ass trip ahead of me. Gary and Ash joined me at the lab for lunch. _(Wait, I thought you had Brunch at HOME.)_

"I'm going to be Pokemon Master!" said Ash. "What about you, Krystal?" he asked.

"I"m going to be a Pokemon Master as well, and a Professor," I replied. _(Instead of just a Professor, now she wants to be a Pokemon Master too.)_

"You can't be both dummy," said Gary. _(Gary is really wise in this story.)_

"Fuck off," I snapped. " Unlike you, I scored a 100 on the aptitude test, I'm also the President of 10 clubs at school but not now since I graduated, I also had Valedictorian and Honor Roll," I said. _(Did she mention she has an IQ of 10000, control time and space, and make clones of herself? No? Must only be on the uneddited version.)_ I had some cereal, grilled cheese sandwiches (3), orange juice, and hashbrowns. _(I bet she worries about her figure a lot.)_ Gary was hurriedly eating. _(So? You brought this up because...)_ The lab is almost my second home. I had to pack lunch ( Pizza(4) and some Ramen ( 24) _(Wait a minute. You just had brunch, you're packing more food for lunch, and you have enough food for almost two weeks for myself. Top Raman has about 400 calories a thing, 9600 calories for all of it. Just an average cheese pizza has at the lowest about 2000 calories, 8000 calories. And the ramen and pizza together you get 17600 calories for ONE meal. How fat are you if that's just for lunch?)_ I packed plenty of Pokemon Food and Water too. I put it all in my Backpack that mom gave me. _(I thought your mom doesn't care about you, and how big is that thing? Is it one of those hammerspace ones?)_ I pinned my hair at the side and let it down my shoulder.

I put on white tube top that only revealed my shoulders and upper back and it had no sleeves or stapes. _(The perfect example for the younger generation.)_ It didn't show off my middle at all. _(Riiiigghhtttt.)_ I put on jean jacket and navy blue shorts with Pokeballs at the back. _(Isn't the back of shorts your butt?)_ I put on tennis shoes and set out for my journey away from the hick Town known as Pallet. _(Are you insulting it?)_ I would always keep in touch with Professor Oak. _(Of course you would. He is after all your father figure. Or was it you crush? Or was it your slave? Hmmm...)_

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**A/n: Review please, Emily!** _(Because she will be the only nonflamer.)_** Well that's Chapter 1 :). **

_(And that is chapter 1, the saniest of them all. Should I keep doing this? Am I doing a good job? Does anybody actually like the story? I only know the answer to one of these questions.)_


	2. Chapter 2

_(Good morning everyone! I'm quite please with the results of my last chapter. As of 10/21/12 I have 92 views and four reviews, even if two were from an angry lady who created what you see below, enjoy!)_

**A/n: Chapter 2! No flames!** _(This is her first sign to quit.)_

**Charmander's Moves - Ember, Dragonclaw, Metal Claw, Thunder****Squirtle's Moves - Rapid Spin, Flamethrower, Watergun, Tackle** _(What the Bidoof did I just read? Charmander knows THUNDER?! That is completely impossible! It makes as much sense as Squirtle knowing FLAMETHROWER!)_

**I love you, Steven STONE! ^w^ and nothing can change that! 3. **_(Run Steve, run! Before it's too late!)_

**SPECIAL NOTE: LEAF IS IN THIS STORY SO IS LYRA AND GOLD AND WHATEVER THEIR NAMES ARE BUT RED ISN'T BECAUSE HE'S ASH AND THAT WOULD BE WEIRD SO YEAH.** _(You can insult Ash, you can insult Gary, you could even insult my right pinkie toe, but no one, NO ONE, insults RED! How could you confuse Red, the best trainer in all of Pokemon History, only rivaled by Gold, with ASH of all people. Ash never wins the Pokemon League, Red becomes the champion. Red is even in Super Smash Bros. Brawl! ...sorry people, fanboy moment.)_

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"Yo, Krystal!" yelled Gary just as I was about to head out of the lab

"Hey how about we battle?" he yelled. Professor Oak sighed.

"Gary, should you really be battling your Pokémon even though you've just caught it?" warned Oak. _(Also Krystal just got her's this morning, but that's beside the point. After all, they do have the power of Author's Magic.)_ Gary didn't listen.

"Sure!" I said. _(Ladies and Gentlemeeeen! The first ever Pokemon battle of the story! Arrrrreeee yoooooouuuuu reeeaaaddyyyy? Lllleeetttt'sssss geeett reeeaaaddyyyyyy toooooo RRRRRRRRRRRUUUMMMMBLLLLEEEEE !)_

"Go, Squirtle!" he yelled. _(Gary sends out his only Pokemon, Squirtle.)_

"Squirtle!" my Squirtle jumped in to battle. _(Krystal sends out her Squirtle too. Now what are your thoughts Oak?)_

"Well, this should be interesting," Oak sighed. _(Thanks Oak, now back to the action!)_

"Squirtle, Tackle Attack!" yelled Gary. _(And Gary starts out with the Legendary Move: Tackle. Most Starter Pokemon know this move, the other being Scratch.)_

"Squirtle, use Rapid Spin!" I yelled back. My Squirtle immediately ricocheted Gary's Squirtle and slammed it on the ground and fell on its back. _( And Krystal's Squirtle doesn't follows the rules of attack power. While Rapid Spin has a power of about 20, Tackle has a power of 50. That Squirtle has to atleast be 2.5x stronger than Gary's Squirtle just to equal in power. But considering these are both young Pokemon I doubt that.)_

"Squirtle, get up!" snapped Gary. I was already starting to feel sorry for his Pokémon.

"Squirtle, use Tackle!" I yelled. _(Kyrstal feels sorry for Squirtle, has Squirlte attack Squirlte, even if Squirlte thought that Squirtle and Squirtle would be good Squirtle buds and maybe make the Squirlte squad...Squirtle.)_ Squirtle was on its back, meaning it was completely helpless now. _(Oh no! Squirtle has Koopaidas from its Koopa father!) _My Squirtle took advantage of this and tackled it full head - on. The Squirtle spun about like a bumper car. Gary didn't know that Rapidspin was the best choice for this. _(And Gary is taking heavy damage! Too bad his Squirlte hasn't meat an Action Replay like Krystal and her party!)_

"Squirtle, Rapid Spin, again!" I commanded. My Squirtle ended the battle with another Rapid Spin. _(And that is the first battle! Wasn't it exciting? I thought so too as my legs started falling asleep! Also when my eyes just kept wanting to close for some reason!)_

"Great job, Squirtle!" I congratulated my Pokémon.

"Squirtle! Squirt!" it exclaimed happily _(If you haven't noticed, all Pokemon don't have genders. They are all its, there may be a few times where they do have genders though, though it is rare.)_

"What? I want a different Pokémon!" whined Gary. Professor Oak was pretty pissed now.

"Don't blame your Pokémon for anything Gary, its your fault you didn't train it yet!" I said. _(But a way to train Pokemon is to battle Pokemon, thus he was technically training them.)_ He gave me a look and went off in a huffy. Professor Oak sighed and walked off to the lab. Ash had already ran off earlier before our battle. I returned Squirtle and called Charmander out.

"Well looks like we should go to Viridian City first," I said. "Then Viridian Forest,"

It was tricky but I didn't care. I had Pokémon on my side and with them I could do anything! _(Wait, did you just skip the Route 1?)_

"Ready Charmander?" I asked.

"Char! Charmander!" it replied happily and walked by my side.

"I can't wait to finally get that Gym Badge but we gotta train first!" I said. We found a nice quiet spot near Viridian City to train up for awhile, I didn't want to tire my Pokémon out too much. _(They only passed out and had blood slowly dripping out of them, a nice warm-up huh?)_

"Go, Charmander, show me what you've got!" Charmander and I trained Speed and Atk. And Sp. Atk first. _(Oh great Krytal! Many have wonder how to train just a few certain stats, please teach us all mighty Mary-Sue!)_ I had several training items with me they would come in handy. Squirtle and Charmander faced off each other in a practice match, not actually hurting the other just throwing moves back and forth. _(How does that help them other than waste PP?)_ The sun was at its highest peak by the time we finished training. I summoned them back and looked for a Pokémon Center. _(That makes almost as much sense as this. "I summon you back to your balls! Now return to me as a release you!")_

"Hello, Krystal!" greeted Nurse Joy. I knew her since the Storage System that I invented first came to the Centers in Viridian. _(Centers? Not Center? How many Centers are there in just one city?)_

"Can you rest my Pokémon please, Nurse Joy?" I asked. _(I would have asked for them ro be healed, but that's just me.)_

"Of course! I'm glad you're a responsible Trainer!" _(We here at the Pokemon Center love trainers who gives us their Pokemon to complete strangers.)_ she said and gave my Pokémon to Chansey. Other Trainers were there but I knew who they all were, mainly enemies from school. _(People don't like Kyrstal?! They deserve to die then!)_ I saw Cecilia too but she doesn't have any Pokémon. She just walks around to flirt with other guys. She hates Pokémon. Cecilia is about 4'11" legally a midget. _(Sorry to put an end to your parade, but she isn't a legal midget. If she was one inch shorter, then yes, you would be right.)_ 15 years old and was a complete loser she always got Fs in class never tried hard, and yet she seemed to think she was better than me because she has had over 23 boyfriends in the past. But guys just hang with her because she's easy as ABC. _(So basically her plans are find a rich husband, a somewhat common stragety in modern days.)_

"Krystal?" she said in a dismissive tone. "What are _you_ doing here?"

" I should be asking you that, you don't even have a Pokémon," I snapped. Chansey came back with the tray of Pokéballs. Charmander was next to it. _(Why?)_ Squirtle was in the tray inside it's Pokéball.

"Huh, well looks like I'll be going since you don't have Pokémon," I sighed. Just then Olivia, one of my 3 worst enemies, stood in front of me.

"I'll battle you!" she growled. My Charmander was pissed off. _(Why? I thought Charmander would be happy to battle. Don't Pokemon naturally like battling?)_ But I just walked past her.

"We can't battle in a Pokémon Center, you dumb broad!" I snapped. _(Woah! Someone is snappy today. Try thinking of a place where you feel at peace. Yes, that's it, look at their faces of terror as your army of Shiny Charizards chase after them. Now look to your left as your Squad of Shiny Blastoises sink islands and ships in your hounor. Lastly see every Legendary Pokemon fight eachother, just for the chance of being your slave. Don't you feel better now you sadistic Mary-Sue?)_ They realized their mistake and went outside. I saw Cecilia talking to Jo, Karen, Breanna, and Olivia. These three girls are my worst enemies... but not anymore since I'm taller than they are. _(Listen, I might not be the sharpest crayon in the cereal box, but isn't there a total of five of them you mentioned?)_

" I challenge you, Krystal!" Olivia yelled.

"Whatever," I said, knowing I was going to win.

"Okay, goooo! Oddish! Heheh!" she giggled retardedly. _(And here we have Round 2 everybody. Today we have a fight with generic annoying girl. Any comments Oak?)_

"Well, this should be interesting," Oak sighed. _(Thanks Oak, now back to the action!)_

"Char!" growled my Charmander. _(What a fierce growl! I'm shaking in my boots!)_

"Okay! Oddish use Absorb!" she said.

"Charmander, use Smokescreen!" Black shadows of smoke crowded around Olivia and Oddish. _(And Oddish's Absorb was ignored!)_

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Eeeeeeeek! Someone save me! EEEEK!" I was disgusted. _(Krystal looks displeased that Olivia reacted to ashes in her face and lungs. Looks like she doesn't aprove of people trying to eat healthy. I mean, just look at her diet! 20000 calories a day, scratch that, a meal!)_

"Charmander, finish this with Ember!" I yelled. Charmander scattered small but powerful flames all over the field. _(Yes, use Ember, the weakest fire-type attack of them all!)_ They charred Oddish and Olivia. I sat back and watched in joy as she was getting third degree burns from Charmander. Olivia was still screaming and being useless. _(And Krystal watches as someone is getting burns that can melt the body to the bone!)_

"Charmander, finish Olivia off with a Dragon Claw!" I yelled sadistically. _(Ladies and Gentlemen, our protaganist!)_ Charmander leapt quickly and raked its sharp claws into Olivia's flesh and left permanent scars all over her ugly face. Her loud screams and anguish were music to my ears, after giving me hell in school I was giving her hell in real life. _(Did you see how the Charmander moved through the air? It was Be-a-u-tiful!)_

"Dumb bitch," I muttered and called Charmander back. _(Why did you call him 'back' instead of 'Charmander'? Isn't its name 'Charmander' not 'back'?)_

"Stop! Uh... I-I'll battle you!" stuttered Breanna, she was pushed in front of me by Cecilia (who didn't even have any Pokémon) _(Hey! Don't put stuff in these ()! That's my job!)_

"Chose a Normal Type! I think Fire is weak to them!" she yelled. I sighed to myself and wondered if I was losing any IQ points. _(Have to have them before you lose them.)_ Charmander growled fiercely. _(I fainted this time, and while I was KO'ed I was tormented by that fiercely growl!)_

"GO! Clefairy!" she said. I knew this Pokémon was beyond weak.

"Use Mentronome!" she said. The mentronome turned into Hydropump. _(So weak that it uses a powerful water-type attack.)_

"Thunder!" I yelled. They were pretty damn surprised that my Charmander knew Thunder. _(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Really? It was so obvious though! After all Charmander's naturally learn it when hatched from an egg. Although its more common for them to know 'Zap Cannon' or 'Roar of Time'.)_

"Wh- Like um, how like does your Charmander know fucking Thunder!" bitched Cecilia. _(Either Action Replay, Author Magic, or a bit of both.)_

"A little training _(hacking)_ and common sense can go a really long way, but I wouldn't expect you to understand since you don't have any Pokémon," I snapped. _(You are very snappy.)_ "Let's go Charmander," Charmander ran into my arms.

"I'm off to Viridian Forest, if you have the balls challenge me there," I told them. Of course with these girls, I knew they would never challenge me since they're all to scared to go to the Forest. Even when they're in a group and that says a lot about them. Cecilia and her little clique are destined for loserdom. _(If that is what Queen Krystal says it must be true. All hail Mary-Sue!)_

Cecilia is the leader of their clique. Pretty much everyone here is jealous of me even though they won't admit it. _(I think me and my fellow bretheren can agree we are not jealous of a female body.)_ They try to dress like me, talk like me, act like me, the list goes on and on. They're not a size 0 like I am so you pretty much get the picture here. Cecilia and her friends are a size 20 and they're all 4 feet tall. _(Now you juat made them a foot shorter.)_ I just hope that they will be nothing more than a gratuitous memory by the time I leave this place. I went to the mart and bought some potions and stuff in case my Pokémon would get sick, _(But they must have PokeVirus, the world's most wanted disease.)_ Viridian Forest has tons of Weedles in it, but I get along with 'em just fine. It's Charmander I'm worried about. Gary Oak was probably already in half way, I was eager to kick his ass again. He annoys me the most next to Cecilia's Clique. _(So many subject changers in the last two lines.)_

I just wanted to end all these unnecessary rivalries. _(Then, oh I don't know, stop battling them! You choose to battle them with confidence, insanity, and maybe a GameShark.)_

"Well here we are, almost at Viridian Forest," I said to myself. Charmander looked hungry. I found a picnic bench and got out Charmander's food bowl and water. Squirtle's too. (_Why is there a picnic bench in the middle of the forest? Is it National Bench Day already?)_

"Eat up guys!" I smiled. Gosh, my Pokémon sat down and gobbled up the food eagerly. They were really hungry after all that battling. _(What battles? All I saw was overkills left and right.)_ I took out my thermos and ready -made Ramen. I was pretty hungry too. As I ate up my ramen, my Pokémon wanted some.

"Haha, okay have a little bit, cause you guys already ate," _(Wouldn't you give them some if they didn't have food yet?)_ I said and gave them some in their bowls. After we finished my Pokémon helped me clean up. I looked in bag for Pokéballs _(You didn't even get Poke Balls? So your one of those type of trainers.)_ but found a note instead!

_"Dear Krystal,_

_Here is a card that will give you unlimited amounts of money for your journey. You have earned it because of your beautifully high scores, hard work, and dedication. Inside you will find over 100 Ultra Balls and 50 Master Balls. Use them wisely! I know you will._

_Yours Truly,_

_Professor Oak_

_(:oViY*EPVCBbE*lrg;khugE:uhILY liUH:LO #*YRywgdLIFuEHFI...I got nothing to say to this madness.)_

I kept the letter carefully sealed in the envelope. _(How can a letter/backpack hold one hundred and fifty balls anyways?)_

"I won't let you down Professor.." I looked at my badge booklet. Ready to take on the world. My Charmander hopped on my shoulder and we headed to Viridian Forest. I could see several Zubat now as it was getting slightly dark. _(Zubats cannot be found in the Viridian Forest, that torture comes during Mt. Moon.)_

"Krystal? Hey! You got a Pokémon!" My stomach lurched at the familiar voice, I turned around. It was Bill, the guy who worked with me on the Storage System. I came up with the blueprints and shit and he built it. It was our project for school but Bill and I were more gifted than anyone so I came up with a storage system that can hold Pokémon in safely. _(For my school science fair I created nothing special, just spider silk. It's thin as paper, stronger than a bullet proof vest and strechier than nylon. I took second, first place had a baking soda and vinager volcano.)_ I suddenly wished I hadn't worn shorts or a white tube top. _(Well, who's fault is that? Was it Gary's again?)_ Bill is a great friend and all but after high school he started to stalk me... _(You just became a trainer a few days ago, if that. Didn't you get your Pokemon Trainer right after highschool?)_

"Oh, Hey Bill! It's been ages!" I laughed trying to be friendly. Bill didn't really like to battle.

"Charmander and Squirtle! Wow, I guess Professor Oak saw you had a lot of potential! He has never given anyone more than one starter!" _(For a good reason too.)_ said Bill. _(Oh no! Not Bill too! Can't anyone think of Krystal as just another ordinary person?)_

"Here's my Abra," said Bill and sent it out.

"Hello, Abra!" I greeted and checked its data even though I already knew what it was. _(So what's the point of the PokeDex then?)_

_**"Abra, The Psychic Pokemon. Sleeps 18 hours a day. If it senses danger, it will teleport itself to safety even as it sleeps." **_

"By the way," he said dropping his voice a little. "You look _very_ pretty, you always have," he smiled and moved closer to me, almost invading my personal space. _(Well that escaleted quickly.)_ I just didn't see what he found so attractive about me. _(I hope you people remember this moment when she says she is nothing special, its a rare moment.)_ I don't have a large ass ( thank Darwin) and I have A cups. _(Is Darwin your mother?)_ I really don't think small tits are a big deal unless you make a big deal out of it. But whatever. I wasn't interested in him since he's always hanging around Cecilia and her clique, I know he doesn't really like her but I don't wanna be anything more than friends because he just creeps me out in general and besides I'm not attracted to him. _(This is actually understandable. You think of him nothing more than a friend, this I cannot diss.)_

"Dude just stop," I growled. Squirtle and Charmander snarled as well. _(And there goes my little sympathy towards Krystal.)_

"Sheesh Krystal, you mean to tell me you won't get with anyone?" he asked.

"Nope," I replied flatly. _(*cough*lies*cough*)_

"Fine," he sighed and walked off. I didn't mean to be rude to him but he left me no choice. We talked a bit more afterwards and eventually decided to go through the Forest together as long as Bill knew his boundaries.

"Man, you're so lucky. Two rare Pokemon and they're all yours!" he stated. " I hope you'll catch more and show me," _(Sorry Bill, she doesn't catch Pokemon, people give her her Pokemon.)_

"Of course," I replied. I was walking faster because I didn't want to see Cecilia's face anywhere. Bill put an arm around me, this time I actually needed it. We entered Viridian Forest. I noticed several Pikachu running about and Beedrill colonies. _(Once again, ten things happen in ten seconds.)_

"Hey Krystal, wait I gotta get going but I wanna give you something," he said and dug through his bag.

"Huh?" he pulled a Pokeball out of his bag...

"A birthday gift," he smiled. _(And to this day, no one actually knows when her birthday is.)_

"Oh, thank you Bill!" I smiled and hugged him lightly.

"Hey nothing to thank me for," he smiled and hugged me back. He nuzzled my head. _(Because that's what friends do, nuzzle eachother's heads.)_

"What's in it?" I asked. _(A Death Ray, bomb, hurricane, or maybe an ancient spirit that will steal her soul? Hold on, I got a call...What's that? All right I'll tell them. Thanks. Well that was the devil, he says he is the 666th one in line to get her soul.))_

"Find out," he smiled. I took out the Pokedex.

**_"Eevee, The Evolution Pokemon. An Eevee has an unstable genetic makeup that suddenly mutates due to its environment. Radiation from various stones causes this Pokémon to evolve." _**

I gasped loudly!

"Bill! An Eevee! Thank You!" I hugged him tightly! For once he actually did something good! _(Because making the Pokemon Storage System is frowned upon and not a good thing.)_

"Haha! I know you like them," he smiled. _(But there is only one...)_

"Yes! An Eevee! So cute!" I smiled.

"Well, I'll get going now. Be sure to stop by my cottage in Cerulean," he said. " I'll wait for you in Silph, doesn't your mom work there?" _(So wait, is he going to be in his cottage or Silph?)_

"Yeah," I said. "Bye Bill!"

And with that he left. _(And there goes one of somewhat normal people in this story.)_ I called out my Eevee.

"Eevee!" It eagerly hopped in front of me. It wasn't an ordinary Eevee.. it was shiny like the rest of my Pokemon. _(Why is there a handful of my hair in my hand?)_

"You're going to be an Espeon!" I stated. _(LIES!)_

"Eeeee!" It happily wagged its tail.

"Charmander, Squirtle, come on out!" I summoned. "Meet our new member, Eevee!" I said.

"Eevee!" it happily greeted my other Pokemon.

"Char!"

"Squirtle! Squirt!" They all shook paws.

"Ee.." suddenly Eevee dashed behind me, so did Squirtle and Charmander. An entire flock of Beedrill was headed my way! _(Quick! Do the logical thing to do!)_ I shielded my Pokemon and shrank flat as a pancake on the ground. _(...I was thing more of the line of SQUIRTLE using FLAMETHROWER! Again, why?)_ I felt several tiny feet of Pidgey fleeting over me. _(I thought you said they were Beedrill.) _My Pokemon were in their Pokeballs safe and sound.

"Wh.. What' shappening?" I gasped and noticed that the forest was moving around as if Psychic was being used, a blinding flash appeared in front of my eyes.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I squeezed my eyes shut and prepared for the worse! _(We can only wish for that.)_

I felt myself completely drifting farther and farther from the ground... _(So you were flying? Hacker!)_

_7 hours later.. _

_"Wh-where am I?" _I groggily woke up and made sure everything was in my bag. My Pokeballs everything was where it was. I was on the ground and the grass felt so so soft and clean... I rubbed my eyes and saw a whole new world around me! I knew what this place was but I just couldn't put my finger on it! It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful! I've never seen anything like this place... My Pokemon were in awe too. _(I thought they were in their Poke Balls inside your bag.)_

"Guys... I don't think we're in Kanto anymore.." I sighed and continued having my breath taken away by this beautiful region... _(Did you just insult Kanto now? First your home town, now your home region?)_

* * *

**A/n: YAY! Chapter 2 is finished! :) Well Ch. 3 will be up soon! Review please Emily. **_(Another one down and a few more to go, I hope you enjoyed it yall! Good night everybody!)_


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